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Wednesday, May 7, 2014

In the Beginning*

In the Beginning, God created the heavens and the earth; and the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep...
  
--The Bible, Genesis 1:1-2; also opens American composer Aaron Copland's 1947 choral anthem In the beginning)

"All beginnings are hard". So said Chaim Potok in the opening of his 1975 novel, In the Beginning. The story revolves around the Lurie family, an Orthodox Jewish family in New York City, in the depths of the Great Depression.  He battles health issues in his early years, bullies in elementary and high school, and the doubts and fears that come with being on your own as he enters adulthood.  In a sense, I've entered that same sphere of angst and drama with the job search--a sense of lack of worth, the seemingly endless waiting for emails and calls for phone and in-person interviews, the complex issues of being resigned to stay where I am and not wanting to bloom where I'm planted.

Am I ungrateful? Am I angry? The Christian Catholic in me says yes to both; my gut (which I wish was more in tune with my faith) says I'm entitled.  I'm fighting these microcosmic wars on a constant basis No one listens and no one wants to listen. It makes me wonder when my turn will come, or if where I am is my turn.

I'm not going to let this turn into the Great American Rage against the System. It is, after all, a beginning. Onward.

--Chaim Potok, In the beginning, 1975.