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Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Little Lies*

Note to customer service personnel:

If you're going to lie about something you did or something you didn't do, and you get caught, beg forgiveness and make it right (notice I didn't say apologize--the weakness of apologies for neglectful behavior will be the subject of some future post).  I went to the oral surgeon to get sutures removed, and knew I was in trouble when the first words out of the receptionist's mouth were, "You didn't get my message, did you?"

She allegedly called and left a message regarding rescheduling because the good doctor was in surgery.  I didn't want to have to wait another hour or more, so I asked to reschedule. 

She asked, "well, who's your dentist?".
I told her and she said, "Well, maybe they can do it sooner". 
"Would you like me to call down?"
After not getting her "last message" (there wasn't one on either phone when I came home), I told her no, I'd just walk down and ask them myself--and walked out.

Long story short--my dentist's office did it, albeit not without a bit of pain and blood (both mine).

I then asked the receptionist (who bears more than a passing resemblance to the Snapple Lady) for the endodontist about scheduling an appointment for my implant, as it was my understanding that I was supposed to get this four weeks after the tooth was pulled.  The assistant and the Snapple Lady stared at me blankly.  Well, this is inspiring a real lack of confidence, I thought to myself.  Then one of them says (and, like Dave Barry, I am not making this up),

"I think the oral surgeon (The office where I had the tooth pulled last week) is running a special this month".

Gloriosky.

I'm not buying a quart of paint, a pound of #8 bright nails, and having two keys cut at the local mom and pop hardware/general store.  These are what's left of my 53-year old teeth, for Christ's sake, and I expect better service than that from those expensively educated, impeccably dressed, dental professionals (I'm gritting what's left of my teeth as I pronounce that word, because I'm not certain I believe it).

Note to oral surgeon's receptionist:  When I returned home, there WAS no message on either my land line or my cell phone.  If I can't trust you with a simple cancellation, I'm sure as heck not going to trust your boss to work on my mouth.  My livelihood depends on it.  SHAPE UP!!!


*--Christine McVie and Eddie Quintela for Fleetwood Mac, Tango in the Night, 1987.
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